Vacuum + Moth = Random Combo #6

So I can't be totally sure, but -  no...  no wait, I'm totally sure that the song doesn't make the bearded dragon more bad-ass.  The bearded dragon makes the SONG more bad-ass.  Really?  Finger Eleven?  Is that a band name or a ride at Neverland Ranch?

Finger Eleven blows.

What does Michael DeLuise Think?

 

Dear Michael DeLuise,

Did this child survive long after this picture was taken?  What do you think?

 

I Really Really Wanna See Kristianne Baille

Forget all those fancy Hollywood blockbusters coming out this summer, the movie I'm most looking forward to this year is Kristianne Baille, starring Christian Bale and Kristen Bell. Here's the trailer.



(via)

Remember When Jay Leno and Mr. Miyagi Starred In A Buddy Cop Movie Together?

Everything Is Terrible Does! And if you're still mad at the Japanese for bombing Pearl Harbor and hate women, then you're gonna love all the racial slurs and misogyny that abound in this gem!



The movie's called Collision Course. Netflix it today!

(via)

Vajazzle me NOW

This is a new fashion trend that I hope stays forever. Ladies, its official. You can bedazzle the hell out of your vagina. Don't try it at home. This is a very professional practice. Now only if Jennifer Love Hewitt's vajazzled vagina leaks...



(image via)

James Booker-Flamboyant Pirate, Piano Vituoso

I'm not sure which James Booker I'd want to play at my funeral.

Crazy junked-up pirate Booker:



Or lucid, cool sober Booker:



Either way. I want him there. Make it happen, loved ones.

Are Singing Ponies the Best Thing Ever?

No, they're not.  They're freakin' creepy and need to be stopped.  Stopped now before they kill again.



You know what you remember most about being attacked by a singing pony?  The eyes...  he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then...

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

HONEY, I FORGOT TO PACK MY FAT RUSSIAN MARIACHI TRUMPET PLAYER!

Bredbandsbolaget - Mariachi - blooper from acneadvertising on Vimeo.

I count him wearing five knives

Shit's real son

I dare you...

To invent a time machine and challenge the weakest one of these guys to a fight. Even with your laser holds and telekinetic nelsons, you'd still get your ass beat.

Fart on his Grave

This douche bag actually removed solar panels from the White House. Nice, America.

My future Roomie.

I would be stupid not to move here.

If You Were To Slice My Head Open You'd Find This Guy Instead Of A Brain

Some people have a hamster running on a wheel, I've got a strange foreign man from the '70s with a creepy smile who likes to laugh like an opera singer.

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I Think Worf Is Gonna Need More Than Just A Little Dab

(via)

Crystal Swing Is My New Favorite Amateur British Country Band

Because any band with a singer whose voice is completely inappropriate for his face is a winner in my book--especially if his mom is the keyboard player.



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It's Mardi Gras!! Show Us Some Boobies!!

Oh, man...  WHO WANTS BEADS?!

 

Yes, cow, you get beads.  Welcome to Mardi Gras!

 

Yes, Anteater, although you keep your wife modestly dressed, you too have boobies.  Welcome to Mardi Gras!

Wow, This Music Video Is Smurfin' Awesome!

Can't wait for the Smurfs CGI movie to hit theaters next year? Well, you're gonna have to. Lucky for you, I've found this little gem to keep you busy till then.



BONUS: See if you can spot the black Smurf.

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This Six-Month-Old Baby Can Walk

I gotta say that I'm completely unimpressed by this baby who has stunned so-called experts by his ability to walk over six feet without anyone's help. Look at him walk, his form is all sorts of messed up. He's wobbly as hell, perpetually on the brink of eating it real bad. That kid's not walking, he's just trying his damndest not to fall face first on the floor. Nice try, kid, but this three-legged bear walks way better than you.



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Fabio Picture Of The Day

Here's a picture of Fabio to get your morning off to the right start.

There's Nothing Slutty About This Exercise Machine

Absolutely NOTHING I tells ya.

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Is there ANYTHING that bacon cannot do?

You can boil it, fry it, wrap it around stuff and bake it...  I mean...  I guess the only thing bacon can't do is be kosher.  I used to think that you couldn't burn through steel with it, but then...



Who's with me?  We go to the Olive Garden, knock 'em over for some bread sticks and Eye-talian fancy bacon, and go on an arch-villain crime spree?!

Fabio Picture Of The Day

Here's a new feature I'm introducing to Los Internet: Fabio Picture Of The Day. Why, you ask? Simply because Fabio is beautiful and you should look at him at least once a day. Thank you, you say? You're welcome!

Speaking of DNA...

...  So what do you get when you mix a kitty, an owl, and an eagle?  This awesome little fella!


 


 Suck it, slow loris, a challenger has arrived!






Thanks to Tatiana for FBooking this vid!

Chilly Balls

Today i started running again.  I don't have sweats or anything, so I ran in the only thing I had:  shorts.

I know, I know...  it was 37 degrees out, and I was that stupid honky walking around in shorts.  I'm not sure what made me do it.  I've made fun of these assholes in the past, and now I'm one of them...  running in shorts...

But as the cool winter air caressed my balls, shrinking them up into my abdomen, it felt so right; it hurt so good.  I - I might have to do it again.  Maybe it's genetic?  Maybe my cracker-ass DNA has been calling me to walk in the cold wearing shorts for YEARS, and I just haven't listened to its gentle whispers until now.

Then I started thinking about other things that white people like - other things that I might be missing out on.  I began searching the 'net and found this site that sums it all up nicely:

Stuff White People Like

Things included are:

Asian Girls
David Sedaris
Music Piracy

I'm not sure...

... if ginger kids have no soul.  But I sure know they needs them some ice cream.  For sunblock.

Mystery Link Of The Day

Click Me, you pretty woman you!

This Was Just a Test

A man gets a new video camera. He wants to test it. Behold, his test video:

XHA1 Test video HD Success! from Mike None on Vimeo.

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Puma Comes Out With a New Line of Shirts

I want one in every color.
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Cabin fever...

... is an ironic thing...



Spoons, man...  spoons...

Recorded during the February 2010 Blizzard.

Porn or Funny?

Fuck Al Gore...

What is the most disturbing aspect of Tiny Tim's "The Other Side"?



a) That every member of Tiny Tim's child audience is a pretty little girl.

b) That this his bizarre Nixon-era ballad about a post global warming water-world (sung from the perspective of a fish) may soon come true.

c) That you like this song and want it to played at he moment of your death and (fingers crossed) ascension into heaven.

Everybody's Got Somebody...

... I'm just saying that we should get Mr. Pipe and Ms. Butter together...

If You Love Fat Men Who Suck At Beatboxing, Boy Have I Got A Video For You!

Beatboxing is the rare art form that's better when it's done horribly rather than expertly. Nothing against Julia Dales, but I'd rather watch this guy beatbox any day--especially when it involves that awesome move that comes around the 2:16 mark.



I bet the part of his beard right under the lower lip area smells really good after a performance. I said baby, watcha gonna do?

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The Magic School Bus Is Way Awesomer Than I Remember

Now these are nine seconds of your life you won't ever regret wasting.



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I'm Moving Out of Cole Ave.

Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, sucking face.

Discuss.




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Grammys ain't got shit...

... on those Russian awards shows.



And they call US capitalist pigs... I dunno, man. Fuckin' Ruskies. How's that cat bomb coming kids?

(via) and a big shout out to Kira W. for the heads-up.

**EDIT** It has come to my attention that this is a SWEDISH award show, not a Russian award show. This is Terzi, and I'm here to say: my bad. See, as an American, it's my blood-right to assume that whenever something is different it can be grouped into the "other" category, and then, rightfully, insulted. As everyone knows, "other" in Latin is "Russia", so I just assumed those commie pinko bastards were behind this kind of creativity.

My bad.

As a side note, we should drop a kitten bomb on Sweden just in case...

This Cat Does A Mean Stevie Wonder Impression

Alls I can say is that I'm just really happy this exists. Sure it's mean and politically incorrect, but it's just so gosh-darn cute! Look at that cat thinking he's Stevie Wonder! Awwwwwwww!