If You Can Speak Japanese, Then You Can Speak Meow

Yes, apparently the Japanese language and the Meow language are one and the same. Who'da thunk it!



Also, could that cat look any more Japanese?!

(via)

Fart on his Grave

This douche bag actually removed solar panels from the White House. Nice, America.

Crystal Swing Is My New Favorite Amateur British Country Band

Because any band with a singer whose voice is completely inappropriate for his face is a winner in my book--especially if his mom is the keyboard player.



(via)

This Six-Month-Old Baby Can Walk

I gotta say that I'm completely unimpressed by this baby who has stunned so-called experts by his ability to walk over six feet without anyone's help. Look at him walk, his form is all sorts of messed up. He's wobbly as hell, perpetually on the brink of eating it real bad. That kid's not walking, he's just trying his damndest not to fall face first on the floor. Nice try, kid, but this three-legged bear walks way better than you.



(via)

This Was Just a Test

A man gets a new video camera. He wants to test it. Behold, his test video:

XHA1 Test video HD Success! from Mike None on Vimeo.

(via)

Fuck Al Gore...

What is the most disturbing aspect of Tiny Tim's "The Other Side"?



a) That every member of Tiny Tim's child audience is a pretty little girl.

b) That this his bizarre Nixon-era ballad about a post global warming water-world (sung from the perspective of a fish) may soon come true.

c) That you like this song and want it to played at he moment of your death and (fingers crossed) ascension into heaven.

The Magic School Bus Is Way Awesomer Than I Remember

Now these are nine seconds of your life you won't ever regret wasting.



(via)

This Cat Does A Mean Stevie Wonder Impression

Alls I can say is that I'm just really happy this exists. Sure it's mean and politically incorrect, but it's just so gosh-darn cute! Look at that cat thinking he's Stevie Wonder! Awwwwwwww!

Rip Torn

This scene, disturbing though it may be, makes you wish you had a time machine AND the power to raise the dead. If you could have both of those things Norman Mailer could fucking kill Rip Torn --old man zombie style.

But, wait.

Then we wouldn't have Artie. Scroll ahead to 7:15. I imagine this is what he sounded like when Troop B of the Connecticut State troopers rolled up to find him trying break into a bank, five hours after it had closed.



How can someone be such a jovial, charming dude and also be possessed by the fucking devil?

Shouldn't they just let him go? For god's sake, he almost murdered Norman Mailer and lived to forget about it.

Owl Dance Party!

Even the wisest of owls isn't above getting crunked up and shakin' his feathers on the dance floor. After all, Strigiformes are mostly nocturnal creatures and everyone knows that the children of the night just want to dance.



(via)

Evangelical Baby Gets Remixed

Evangelical Baby is about the creepiest thing floating around the internet--and that's saying a lot considering all the videos of furries there are. And in the spirit of internet videos, Evangelical Baby has received the full remix treatment. Below is the original followed by my favorite (because it is so unabashedly offensive) remix.



And the remix:


(via)

Despite Its Title I Still Feel Like "Pardon Me" Owes Me An Apology

No doubt you will feel the same. Maxine Swaby combines the voice of a deaf angel with the screen presence of a lobotomized mime for what is sure to become an instant classic at Los Internet HQ. Without further ado, here is Maxine Swaby performing her hit single "Pardon Me."



(via)

My New Hero Is A Chinese Window Washer

His worth ethic and deer-in-the-headlights face are second to none. I just love him!



(via)

Ask Steve Muñoz: How Does A Fax Machine Work?

Alternatively, this post could've been titled "If You Know How A Fax Machine Works And Want To Forget, Just Ask Steve Muñoz How A Fax Machine Works."

Seriously, his explanation is so confusing you might just forget everything you know about faxing. It's almost like he's just winging it, with no script or rehearsal to speak of. Perhaps someone should've faxed Mr. Muñoz a script before recording, eh?



(via)

Mini Daddy Is The Best Child Reggaeton Artist Of All Time

Is it those ridiculously ginormous cheeks? Or maybe it's his impeccably perfect head slide. Perhaps it's the fact that though he's only seven years old and he already looks like he undresses girls with his eyes (not to mention that he could beat the crap out of me if he wanted to). Whatever it is I am in absolute awe over Mini Daddy. He is the best thing to happen to reggaeton since the sub woofer. His song "El Niño Mas Bonito" (which translates to "the most beautiful boy") is perhaps the second greatest song sung by a child. (The first belongs to none other than Jordy.)



P.S. Feel free to watch 2:12-2:14 over and over again.

P.P.S. I'm tempted to make this the official song of Los Internet (whatever that means).

MARK GORMLEY IS BACK, BABY!!!!!

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING (EVEN IF IT'S GIVING CPR TO YOUR CAT), DROP WHAT YOU'RE HOLDING (EVEN IF IT'S A NEWBORN CHILD) AND WATCH MARK GORMLEY'S NEW MUSIC VIDEO "SING ME YOUR SONG." IT'S SO DAMN GOOD I HAD TO WRITE THIS WHOLE POST IN CAPITAL LETTERS. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO MARK GORMLEY IS, SHAME ON YOU. HE'S THE GREATEST PUBLIC-ACCESS TV ROCK STAR EVER! CHECK OUT HIS FIRST VIDEO "WITHOUT YOU" HERE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET.



(via)

Yo-Yo weapon

It's a shame that I'm so lazy. If I weren't, I'd write an action thriller about a super evil badass who uses a Yo-Yo to terrify the feudal Phillipino countryside.
Then again, even if I took up waiting tables and working non-stop on the project (maxed out credit cards, lost girlfriend, etc.) it would probably end up looking like this:

Welp, I'm Moving To Milwaukee!

Why would I move to that cheese and snow and fat people infested city, you ask? Simple, they have the best and most action-packed local news in the US. Here's the proof:



Wanna move with me? Let's find a place!

(via)

Meet Scoops Callahan, The 1920s Sports Reporter Who Attends Present Day Press Conferences

Tom Gribble is the coolest, most awesomest sports reporter working in the field today. Not because he's done an exemplary job producing the BaD show on Dallas's 1310AM, The Ticket (which I've never actually listened to), but because he attends post-game press conferences in the persona of Scoops Callahan, a 1920s-era reporter who asks pressing questions like, "Talk about the long touchdown pass to Donte Stallworth. It looked like you two were doing the Jitterbug while the Dallas secondary were doing the Charleston."

Greenscreen Grandmas, I Looooooove You

These bitches are crazy! There's nothing better than two grannies hootin' 'n' hollerin' 'n' barkin' as they pretend to ride a roller coaster. I just wanna squeeze in between them and play along with them. Oh Greenscreen Grandmas, I hope you never die.

Also, I like the part where lime-green grandma makes part of her right arm disappear. That's a good trick.

(via)