Sunday, December 13, 2009
Magical Bodybuilding Homos Save Inner-City Youth
Inner City, America--Down on his luck and very sad due to widespread urban blight and homelessness, a young African-American boy instantly gained basketball prowess, fortune and sexual dominance thanks to three body-building homos.
"They transported me to a beach full of women," said the young man, 11. "When I came back, I could slam dunk a basketball and drive a yellow Ferrari. Then it started raining pussy."
The young man, who wore a suit and a fuzzy purple hat announced that he would be the youngest basketball-dunking pimp in the nation's history. "Thanks homos."
The homos, who could not be reached for comment through their magical view finder, seemed to be acting on some sort of good will gesture.
Their spokesman, Joseph Rollins, a basketball-dunking, Ferrari Driving Vietnam veteran who spent the previous ten years of his life living on the city streets, described the men as bold visionaries.
"They want to make us all happier and healthier," Rollins man said, holding the magical viewfider aloft. He promised to drive around town in his own yellow Ferrari helping those less fortunate than himself learn how to dunk basketballs and get laid.
"God bless those homos," he said, before speeding off.