Yogi Is A Pussy...

...especially around pussies.

1. Bears are not afraid of Russians.
2. Cats are not afraid of bears.
3. Cats are not afraid of Russians?

Next time those Commie bastards try any shit, we need to have a pack of Good Ol' 'Merican Pussy at the ready to drop onto their country.

4. Russian babies laugh too much. Holy shit. It's not THAT funny, baby. Why do you keep laughing, baby? Aren't you afraid your cat is going to die, baby?
5. Russian babies are obviously not afraid of death.

If we eventually send a kitten bomb to those pinko commie bastards, the first places we should aim for are nurseries and orphanages. Once we take out the little maggoty commie pinko bastard babies, the rest of the population will be easily dominated by the rest of the kitties.

Take that Russia.

Man Has Picnic With Bear, Gets Mauled

You know what sounds like a great idea? Having a picnic with a bear!

At least that was one man's logic when he jumped into Finn the European brown bear's enclosure at the Bern Park Zoo in Switzerland. Finn loved the picnic idea so much that he immediately pounced on his new friend and started feasting on him.

Sadly -- and you might want to grab a tissue for this part -- police came to the man's rescue and shot Finn the bear with these horrible fragmentation bullets that splinter inside the target and make it so that veterinarians can't operate on the poor beast.

Finn is still alive, but no one knows for how much longer since he can't get the medical attention he needs. Meanwhile, the asshole intruder is probably going to live. Here's his picture, so if you ever see him on the street you can throw picnic baskets at him and call him a stupid bear killer.

(via)

Local TV in Canada

Local news blows. Right?
Wrong. Once again, Canada rubs our dicks in the dirt. This motherfucker wrestled a bear. For a local puff piece on a restaurant. And look how angry he is in the beginning.
What the shit?
If Canada's gay mustachioed TV anchors have these kind of balls, imagine what their lumberjacks could do to us?