Love your kids?

Then why not scare the living shit out them?!

If this sounds like something up your alley, you can call Switzerland and hire this guy:

He'll then stalk your kids, harass them on their phones, and end it all with a pie in the face.  I have no idea why someone wouldn't want to do this.  Aside from all of the therapy necessary to get your kid functioning in a normal social way again.

(via)