Super Soaker?

And the headline reads...

Man Charged In Semen Attacks In Md. Stores

Ohhhhh, how I miss Maryland!

Now have a seat kids...  the story goes that Mr. Michael Edwards here would visit his local grocery store armed with nothing but a bottle of semen.  It's still not clear if it was his own semen, but, honestly, that's beside the point and really splitting (pubic) hairs.

He'd pull the oldest trick in the book on an unsuspecting victim ("Hey!  Look over there!"), then squirt said semen onto them.  Then he'd take a picture of his accomplishments.  A real hero, this guy.

For the full story, including money shots - err...  reaction shots...  click HERE.